Something you didn’t know about me – Alicia, the NLP Anti-Bullying Warrior

I haven’t mentioned it before in this blog (but I’ve now added it into my official and unoffical Abouts): I help people with Neuro Linguistic Programming. It’s something I’ve been doing for nearly a decade, having sessions with people almost weekly, and somehow in the last month or two it has become official – I opened a practice. It’s something I’ve intended to do for years because I and the people I work with are so nourished by it, but a peculiar set of circumstances combined to make it happen.

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Falling off the Net – What happens when Life happens II

You last heard from me in August, when I had abandoned cyber-space to keep things together in physical space. I’m taking a short break to fill you in on what has happened, then I’ll be ducking out again for another while, but this time for different purposes.

In the last five months just about every member of my family has been ill in bed or in hospital, including me, and more than once. Our beloved cousin, Alon, went to sleep and never woke up. My sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. It’s an emotional time.

In between the warp and weft of doing what needed to be done to support all of us, other things continued (as they do).

In the publishing side of life, while I was in London ada enup joined IPR License and, for the occasion, I redesigned and updated the ada enup website to be cleaner and easier to navigate. Pretty, isn’t it? IPR is a rights organisation and I am hoping that all ada enup authors will benefit by having their works republished in many different countries, perhaps even being translated into different languages. My authors’ works are each quite particular, so I’m hoping that overseas publishers that specialise in each of those specific areas will be interested. It’s been five months now and ada enup has been showcased in the IPR magazine, so all that is left is to be patient. As IPR said to me, it usually takes minimum of nine months to be picked up. Time will tell.

I’ve been working with author Zuko Pokwana in between the madness and we are finally in the last edit before we publish the second edition of AmaZizi: The Dlamini People of Southern Africa. People are pressuring my author to get them copies so I’m feeling the pressure too. In between the kids, my top priority now is to get this book published.

There has been something else happening too. Something exciting and game-changing for me and likely for others, too. But I’ll save that for the next blog.

Falling off the Net – What happens when life happens

I don’t know about you, and for me the first thing that happens when life happens is that my tech life vanishes. First comes family, second comes work and third comes nothing.

In June, when I left to go to the UK for two weeks, the evening before I left I had everything I could think of in order. I made a quick a cappella CD for my children (‘I love you’ songs containing their names, some reworked ballads and nursery rhymes and my own creations), so that their carers could play it for them while we were apart. I had met or spoken to my authors. I had scheduled a few week’s worth of blog posts. I flew out the country without pyjamas, but that’s what you get when you think  you don’t have time to write a packing list.

While I was away, three things happened. One, my cell phone stopped working. Two, I was nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award by belindacrane (thank you, Belinda!). Thirdly, I signed up with IPR License.

I was excited by the latter two and thought the former could be easily fixed. I had plans. And then I arrived back home, where life made fun of my plans in not-so-much fun ways which resulted in much hospital and doctor time for my immediate family and no cell phone for over a month. So, first came family. In the between minutes, I worked. And the electronic platforms I’ve been developing fell flatter than a pancake and nowhere near as nice.

The result of all this is that I’m holding back the publication of Innerone until I have time to honour it properly. I am focusing only on meeting the needs of my family and my authors. And, in the moments between the minutes, I’ll keep you posted.

‘Metaphors for Life’ – Repost with comments

What metaphors can you come up with?

Metaphors for Life – (Oct 28, 2014)

I started this blog using the journey metaphor, chatting about various publishing aspects and accomplishing them step by step, including dance steps! It seems to me that, like me, just about everyone has bought into the metaphor that life is a journey. I know it is a metaphor I took for granted. I don’t know what started me off, but the other day I started thinking about it: specifically, how it evolved into such a pervasive meme. It’s young compared to other, more biblical metaphors, such as life is a lesson we must learn from or a test we must pass.

Frankly, I’m not a fan of those metaphors. Life being a lesson sounds like I have to be diligent and hardworking all the time. There is no hint of play. I need to pay attention, memorise my subject and prepare for tests on which my future depends. (If you believe in a stern God, this may sound right to you). Life being a test, in which we are tested and must rise to the occasion (and if we haven’t learned our lesson – or even if we have – will be tested again), sounds like a challenge on the one hand and unrelenting hardship on the other; where an unseen hand will smack us with various unpleasantnesses at any time, and the consequences of failure are dreadful.

I think the journey metaphor became so popular because there’s a lot one can do with it. For starters, it is much more neutral and has the possibility of fun and excitement and newness in it, the ability to make our own way in the directions we choose. We can stay on the straight and narrow or venture into unexplored territory or roads less taken. We can turn back or travel with someone or travel alone. Also, if life is a journey, sometimes I need to stop traveling. There are different reasons for this – safety, rest, enjoyment of where I am are, waiting for others to catch up and so on. This metaphor makes us the hero of our own story. All of this is much nicer than lessons and tests. But just because nicer is nicer does not mean that it is, in fact, a good metaphor for all of us, all the time. You see, metaphors guide our behaviour. We live a certain way if we think a certain way.

How would my thinking about life – and therefore how I behave and act – change if I dropped ‘Life is a journey’ and picked up ‘Life is something else’? How would I live my life differently if I believed that life was a puzzle? Or a wad of cash? Or a river? Or cable TV? Or the internet? Or an algorithm?

What would change if rather than journeying, I was finding pieces that fit? Or choosing what I spend on, because I only have a certain amount of money? Or preparing for rapids? Or watching a hundred channels? Surfing which websites and using which software? Or fine-tuning my code?

Each metaphor gives subtle differences, differing from other metaphors in tiny degrees of the how of doing things, that can make huge shifts in my life, simply because my perspective changes.

For example, if I believe that life is a journey, then I am going to somehow meet the love of my life somewhere along the way. If I believe that life is a puzzle, I’ll be actively testing different pieces for the love that fits. If life is a wad of cash, do I believe that love is free or priceless or something I can buy? If life is a river, I’ll be careful to prepare for rocks and undertows in relationships, never expecting things to flow smoothly, suffering when the river runs dry, being overwhelmed when it floods and sweeps me away, but basking in enjoyment when the river flows in such a way that I can float. Did I realise that I could miss the love of my life because I was watching another program? Or that I could always rewind and catch up on what I missed? I can’t go back in time in the journey metaphor because there is a clear past, present and future, but I can if I’ve got PVR.

How do I feel about those?

I could go on, but I expect you get what I’m getting at: that we should not just accept the metaphors we’re given. It is worthwhile to choose them consciously, or even make up our own. Not only once, mind you, but whenever the old one no longer suits our circumstances.

You see, how we live our lives depends on it.